Weekly practice: "being curious and asking questions"
This week, in every meeting with people (new people, friends, family members, coworkers) we will ask them at least one question about their lives. Which one? The question should interest us, and be a question we have never asked.
Then we will really listen to the answer, without interrupting in the middle. If we get more questions we can keep asking.
Of course it is important to be attentive to the way they answer us, that is to the content of the words, tone of speech, look and body positions. We would like to identify if it is appropriate at the moment to ask more questions.
When we ask a question we open up a possible space, therefore it is important to identify if the Bush is interested in opening this space with us.
It is better to practice one on one meetings.
Kids are very inquisitive! That's why they ask a lot of questions and learn a lot of new things. Often they ask very personal questions because it really interests them. As soon as they have the desire to know, they ask straight away. There is no filter that filters the question.
Over the years, we develop filters, through which the question passes before it is asked. In many cases we decide not to ask in the end. There is a concern that maybe the question is too personal, and the person in front of us may not want to share with us.
Or we tell ourselves "he didn't ask me so I won't ask him". We have countless justifications for why we don't ask questions. I recognize this in me, and that's the main reason why I chose the exercise.
Over the years, most people almost completely lose their curiosity. In interpersonal relationships we tend to think that we really know who is in front of us. I think this belief leads us to be less interested in them, to believe that there is nothing new about them.
The meeting between people has become a routine where we talk about the same topics, and there are boundaries to the conversation that are not written anywhere but have become the norm. Especially at gatherings of many people (family dinner, sitting with regular friends).
The meeting became boring, and expected. There is no innovation and there is no diversity. Everything is well known in advance. The truth is that it's more "comfortable" like this, not to shake the boat... But much less deep and interesting.
It's like a puzzle created between the other, which only deepens with time. I wonder through which water flows (media), I mean the same topics of conversation every time.
The water flows in the lowest comfortable place, where the ventilation exists. The path of least resistance
In order to change the way it is necessary to regularly dig a new way... Which means getting out of the routine by asking questions and being curious. Inside us we are still curious, only that we have covered our curiosity with many layers of defense. In this weekly exercise we will take the first step towards connecting with our curiosity.